I’m AuDHD and most of the world overwhelms me in some way.

It’s too bright. It’s full of strong, awful smells. It’s SO LOUD. It’s crowded. It’s ridiculously fast paced and stressful.

I didn’t learn what neurodiversity was until I was probably 41. I figured out that I’m autistic and adhd shortly after, though it took much longer to stop struggling with imposter syndrome enough to internalize it. I only received my formal validation in the form of diagnoses from neuropsychological testing in October 2023, at the magical age of 44. It takes a great deal of money, privilege, research, and luck to be able to receive a formal diagnosis for autistics. This is all the more true for girls, women, people of color, and adults. I fully support and believe that self-identification is 100 percent valid and that there are numerous problems with anything less than full acceptance of self-diagnosed neurodivergence.

It will likely take the rest of my life to fully process the impact of learning such an important part of who I am so relatively late in life. Some of that will be what I write about here.